


Yuri On Ice One-Shots (Mostly Victuuri)

by GoldStar100



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angsty Party, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Christope Giacometti needs to chill tf out, Cute, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff fluff and oh more fluff, Fluffyfest, Keeping it PG-13, Kiss Kiss Fall in Love, Literally how could you not love these two?, Lots and lots of Pining, No Smut, One Shot, Other, Phichit is Hamster King, Shut up JJ, Social Media Expert Phichit Chulanont, The Ice Tiger of Russia, VictUuri, Victor/Viktor are the same thing, Yuri On Ice Is fluffing amazing, Yuri Plisetsky's Nickname Is Yurio, Yuri: The Remix. Coming this summer in theaters., Yurio, Yuuri and Yuri are the same thing, angsty, yurio just wants a break
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27993333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldStar100/pseuds/GoldStar100
Summary: Y’all it’s just what the title says: a bunch of dumb little one-shots that popped into my head one day begging to be written and that I actually listened to for some reason. I have a long list of prompts for this book so it will be a long one and I appreciate anybody who sticks along for the ride: y’all are wonderful.  We’ll be keeping things PG-14 in the Christian Minecraft Server so please don’t ask. Thank you and enjoy your ride.I do not own0 the characters nor the show the characters are in at all. Credit goes to Mappa and whoever else created YOI. Pls don’t come after me.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. Nature’s Roar (Victuuri)

**Author's Note:**

> Holy crap you actually clicked on this book. I question your intentions and sanity in doing so but am glad you’re here nonetheless. 
> 
> This takes place after Season 1 of YOI. Victor and Yuuri have their own house, with separate bedrooms. Yes, they sleep in separate rooms (most of the time). Fight me (y’all don’t worry it’s only for this story...maybe) 
> 
> This is a longer story, about a good 4,000 words. It does become sort of a drag so I've added an optional ending point about 2/3 of the way through, where, if it does become boring, you can stop reading. Everything after that is unimportant crap I just added because my brain wanted to and I was procrastinating on work. 
> 
> This concept was inspired by a certain scene in a certain episode in a certain show (no it's not from Yuri On Ice so you can stop singing History Maker now) that becomes pretty obvious halfway through...
> 
> Yeah I'll shut up now. 
> 
> Enjoy!!
> 
> (Very quick I apologize if the format is wonky I don’t understand AO3 at all so...)

***KRACKABOOM***

The windows seemed to shudder as the thunderous sound echoed through the house. A figure standing by the kitchen sink jumped, their grip tightening on the glass in their hand. Taking a deep breath, Yuuri Katsuki shut off the faucet with one hand while running his hand through his hair with the other, staring down at his water cup. His mind was racing, swamped with the muddy feel of midnight thoughts. A flash of light illuminated the room through the larger windows, revealing the scene outside. Trees swayed side to side as the howling wind weaved through, tearing leaves from the branches. Rain had begun to pour down, creating a therapeutic 'tip tap' on the roof above.There had been reports of an incoming cyclone in Hasetsu, so this storm came of no surprise. Still, the apparent severity of it still came as a shock. Taking a deep breath, the man slowly began making his way back to the room where he had been sleeping. As he walked down the hallway, he automatically slowed as came near a specific door, willing his footsteps to become lighter, as silent as that of a mouse. He was no more than halfway across the hallway when yet another clap of thunder shook the house once more.

Along with it came another sound.

So quiet, it may as well have been a figment of Yuuri's imagination. A small...whimper? At least, that is what it had sounded like, but then again, Yuuri's brain was always making the weirdest of sounds. Still, he couldn't help but pause in front of the door.

_“Did it come from in there...no, I'm going crazy...”_

Shaking what seemed like the most insane deduction from his brain, he took yet another step forward towards his bedroom door. A third boom echoed through the house, weaker than the last.

There it was again. This time, it was so very clearly not a figment of a sleep-deprived mind. Now turning his whole body towards the door, his fingertips gently stroked the cool metal door handle. Was it really ok for him to be entering like this?Outside, the wind seemed to howl louder as the pace of the rain picked up drastically. One sudden gust outside sent a sound like wailing through the house. It startled Yuuri, causing him nearly to drop the glass. Through the thin wood, his searching ear picked up a sharp inhale. Now certain that his mind wasn't playing tricks on him, he tightened his grip on the door handle, and tugged it downward, opening the door as slow as possible.

"Victor?" Yuuri poked his head in, whispering the name as he scanned the room. Upon his first look, all looked normal, calm, quiet. Through the sheen curtains draped over the windows, very little light poked through, coating the room in an inky darkness that could only come with the impending doom of a cyclone.

_"Of course nothing's wrong. I'm an idiot. It was probably some animal outside."_

Standing there staring at the void, his mind began to wander. "Why did I think something was wrong? My body moved before my mind could think."This often would be a brutal mistake in skating, and at this point, Yuuri had thought he was past it. Still, he couldn't help but tighten his grip on the door. Why didn't everything feel...right? _"It must be my fatigue."_

Breathing a small sigh as his stupidity, he willed his hand and began to close the door...when he heard something else. It was a sound he recognized, but at that moment his brain was too busy picking at the tangles of thoughts in his brain to put a word to the sound. Poking his head back in, he looked around again.Once again, his stinging eyes failed to spot any difference in the room. Breathing shallow breaths, his eyes slowly turned towards the one spot he had pushed not to look at. _"I don't know why I hadn't looked there before."_

On the large 4 posted bed positioned against the wall, he had noticed a large lump underneath the sheets, unnaturally shaped. It also seemed to be...shivering. Curiosity taking over him, he pushed the door open wide enough so he could fit through, and, holding his breath, walked over to the bedside.

***KRACKABOOM***

This nature's roar rocked the earth, making the windows shake in their frames. Any harder, and Yuuri swore they would have shattered. He froze immediately, eyes shooting up to the windows. _"No, no cracks."_ He turned his gaze back down to the bed, and his eyes widened. The sheets were shaking as if they were cold, and shallow breathing could be heard from under them.  
  
 _"Wait...."_

"Victor?" Yuuri whispered. The name went unnoticed, so he repeated it a bit louder. When he heard nothing again, this just confirmed his suspicion. If there was something he knew about Victor, it was that, whenever his name was spoken in Yuuri's voice, he would always respond, let it be mumbled in his sleep, or just as bubbly as when he was awake. Something brushed his fingertips, bringing his eyes down. Unknowingly, his hand has reached out to grasp the linen sheets.

Without so much of a second thought, he drew them back.

Underneath, Victor was curled into a tight fetal position, arms wrapped tightly around a pillow. In one hand, he was grasping his phone, earbuds plugged in and tucked into his ears. What struck Yuuri was strange was that, unlike his normal sleepwear (which was literally nothing), he wore a thick blue sweatshirt and grey sweatpants. His entire body was trembling.

"What is..." Yet another clap of thunder rattled Yuuri, this one very close to causing the glass to slip from his hand. Drawing in a sharp breath, Victor's eyes shot open along with the rest of his body, earbuds falling out. In a brief moment, Yuuri caught a good look into the ocean eyes. They weren't the warm blue that he had been so used to. Instead, they were laced with absolute terror, like fractals of ice. They shook along with the rest of his body. He had taken a sharp breath in, and was now panting as if he had just run a marathon, sitting up in his spot. His hand grasped the cloth in front of where his heart would be. He seemed to be trying to calm himself down, eyes focused straight ahead.

Unknown to Yuuri, the Russian felt as if he was drowning, enclosed in an envelope ofterror. To him the room was a void of inky uncertainty has lacked any sense of love and safety. And it was closing in to him rapidly.

_"Yuuri...where are you?"_

Something soft touched the top of his head, on a specific spot that only one other person knew of. It was a spot that brought him back to other times. But right now, it served as a life saver; a flotation device that pulled him to the surface, as the inkiness around him slowly melted away.

"Victor?"

His head jerked in the direction in which the muffled call had come from.

His eyes met the mocha ones of his Eros.A wave of pleasurable warmth swept through him, in the same way a crackling fire made one's gut fill with a pleasing sensation that made one feel safe.

"Victor, are you ok?" Answer him, dammit. Pushing, he forced a smile onto his otherwise tightly-drawn face.

"Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?" Yuuri didn't look convinced. Setting his glass down on the nightstand, he sat down on the edge of the bed, and stared the skater straight in the eyes. All he could see in them was fear. Sighing, he rest his hand on Victor's trembling one.

"Don't lie to me, I can tell something's wrong." His soft voice hit the Russian straight in the heart, stroking a nerve he didn't know he had. A feeling coursed up from his heart straight to his face, one that he hadn't felt in so long.

_"No, no, keep it hidden. You don't want to worry Yuuri."_

He opened his mouth to say something else, but it clamped shut as a seventh clap of thunder rang through the room. Yuuri watched as he seemed to transform, almost. His eyes widened and pupils compressed. He grew rigid, inhaling sharply. He grew pale.

"Dammit, I don't have my pillow. What should I grab onto...."

Yuuri very nearly fell from where he sat when two long arms wrapped around his waist and head pressed to his side. All of which were shaking. Yuuri was rendered frozen.

"Y-yuuri..." He meant to whimper the name in his head but it ended up escaping his lips. Subconsciously, said man scooted closer to theshaking man and wrapped his arms around his back. Under him, Victor continued to shake, but it eased slightly. They sat there for a minute,listening to the pitter patter of the rain.

"Victor...are you scared of thunder?" Though he already knew the answer to that, the question still escaped him. The shivering man already gave him his answer.

_"Shoot, I don't know what to do. Should I hug him? Talk to him? Kiss him? What to do, what to doooo..."_

"I don't want you to do anything..." Victor's soft shaky startled him. "Just stay with me...please..."

_"Shit did I say that out loud?"_ His words struck him, however. I don't want you to do anything...

His eyes fell on the earbuds laying on the sheets, and it gave him an idea. Slowly, he pried himself from Victor's arms. Said man's eyes, which had fallen closed, shot open once more, watching as the man crawled over his legs and sat up right next to him. Grabbing the earbuds, he stuck them into Victor's ears, cranking up the music. Through the little sound that escape them, Yuuri could hear the familiar piano riff of his free skate music, Yuri On Ice. He wrapped his arm around Victor's shoulders and pulled him in, resting the platinum-haired head on his shoulder. The sounds of the nature's fury outside seemed to ebb, though it continued with the severity of before. Through the gentle orchestral music, what normally would have come through as howling wind and thunderous claps was now replaced by Yuuri's soft breathing. It matched the beat of the song, lulling him towards a soft peaceful slumber. But, he continued to fight against his lead eyelids, forcing them open. He gently lifted Yuuri's arm from his shoulder, letting him pull it back down to his side.

"Huh--" He was cut off when Victor instead latched onto his arm, hugging it like a child hugs a beloved stuffed animal. Though Yuuri had been used to Victor's childish behavior by now, it still shocked him.

"Mine..." He breathed out, clearly falling under the line between consciousness and sleep. By this point, Yuuri noticed that his heart rate had slowed.

_"I've never seen Victor like this..."_ As he thought about it more and more, he began to notice all the signs. The increase in worry whenever reports of rain came in, the constant insistence of bringing earbuds everywhere, and the isolation when the storms did roll around. _"Dammit, how did I miss those? I should have known..."_

~~~

" _Victor...VICTOR!" The Russian man jumped at the mention of his name, peeling his eyes from the weather report on TV._

_"Eh, yes?"_

_"I asked if you thought we had enough water stored." Yuuri was crouched by the many packs of water bottles resting on the table. "Hey, are you ok?" Victor noticed that he had tensed up, and immediately tried to relax._

_"Yes, yes, of course. Just tired." He fibbed, flashing his signature smile. Yuuri mirrored the smile, before turning back to the supplies._

_"But we don't know how long it'll be before we can go out again, and water is the one thing we can't run out of, but at the same time we need to save money for canned food in case we run out of that, speaking of which do we have enough of that, hmm, let me see. Twenty cans of corn,fifteen canned pork cutlet bowls, some canned fruit, twenty-five bags of chips, oh, what about batteries, do we have any of those, I think Vitya_ _was in charge of that, hope he bought them, wait, how many water bottles do we have again..."_

_"Yuuuuri..." Now it was Yuuri's turn to jump as he felt Victor's arms wrap around his waist and his nose nuzzle in the nape of his neck. "You're worrying too much again."_

_"A-am I?"He stammered, entirely too flustered to form a complete sentence._

_"Yes, calm down. It's only supposed to last a few days, we'll be fine."_

_"B-but..."Out in the distance, the faint roar of a clap of thunder drew both their gazes out the windows. Victor's eyes widened as a gradient of dark clouds appeared out in the horizon. His hands fell from around Yuuri's waist, and clasped his shirt instead. His head lifted from its resting place and instead looked over his shoulder._

_"Um...are you sure you're ok?" Victor felt a hand on his, and relaxed his grip. "You seem pretty worried."_

_"I....I told you, I'm just tired."_

_"Do you want to watch a movie, take your mind off of it?" A smile tugged at his lips, but fell almost immediately._

_"No, I think I'll just go to bed." Lowering his hands, he turned to walk off towards his room, but was held back as Yuuri's grip on his hand tightened._

_"Do you want me to join you?" (NO THIS AIN'T DIRTY Y'ALL IT'S CALLED CUDDLING)_

_"NO!" He answered too quickly, nearly clasping his hand over his mouth. The ravenette turned quickly, looking up at him with large glimmering eyes. "No, I'm fine." Victor reassured him. "I just need some sleep, that's all."_

_"Oh...well, 'night Vitya."The shorter man flashed him a smile. Out of an impulse, Victor leaned down and pressed his lips to his forehead._

_"Goodnight, my little piggy..."_

~~~

***BANG BANG** * (Bakugo is quaking)

The sound travelled through the house, speeding down the hallway, straight into Yuuri's ears. Reluctantly, his eyes slowly forced themselves open. They were met with with a shiny platinum, one that ticked his nose. Gently, he stroked the handful of velvety locks in his hand. Somehow, both he and Victor had sunk down so Yuuri's head was resting on the pillow and Victor's was tucked under his chin and up against his neck. Yuuri's arm was restricted in movement as Victor's head was resting on it, tucked into the ravenette's hold. Breathing deeply, Yuuri sank his face back into the platinum hair, taking a deep breath. It smelled of vodka and cinnamon, and it mesmerized his mind how strong yet gentle the scent was. It was a scent that could only be described as 'Victor'. The warm scent stroked his heart, sending a drowsiness through his body that just couldn't be ignored. Breathing deeply, Yuuri's hand's were held up as he allowed himself to sink deep into the lull of sweet sweet unconscious.

~OPTIONAL ENDING HERE~

***BANG BANG***

_"Ok this is ridiculous. Go away. Leave me alone."_

.  
.  
. 

***BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG*** Under his hold, Victor shifted in his sleep, pulling himself closer to Yuuri's body.

_"I swear to everything that is holy, if you wake up my Vitya..."_ Breathing a silent groan, Yuuri gently removed his arm from under Victor. Immediate tingles spread up to his shoulder from immobility. In a swift motion, he slipped out of bed and made his way over to the bedroom door. How he was able to close it without waking Victor up with nothing short if a miracle. Waiting a second to make sure he heard no noise coming from the room, he turned his glare to the front door.

_"Who the hell could be knocking at our door at two am smack in the middle of a cyclone?"_

Turns out that who was Yurio and Otabek.

They were staring out in the rain, Otsbek holding his jacket over Yurio's head. Both looked absolutely miserable, soaked to the bone.

"Y-Yurio, what the hell?! It's two in the morning!"

"Three, actually. Now let us in before we freeze, pork cutlet bowl." Completely speechless. Yuuri stepped to the side to let the two in.

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you at the inn??" (May have forgot to mention that they were in Hasetsu...) 

"We got caught out in the rain on our way back from town and only had enough money to get a cab this far." Otabek replied simply as he walked over to the sink and began to wring out his coat.

"And what the hell were you doing out at 3am?!"

"Eating, what else?" The angsty teen trudged over to the living room and plopped down on the couch. Yuuri nearly screeched.

"GET OFF THE COUCH YOU'RE ALL WETTT..." He hissed, trying to keep his voice down to a minimum. Shrugging, the teen gestured to himself and Otabek, completely ignoring Yuuri's plead.

"So, do you have any money so we can get a cab or something?" Yuuri paused and glanced out the window, to see that the storm had picked up again.

"The thunder's going to be back soon..." He stole a glance at the closed door, before replying, 

"No, there's no way I'm letting you go out in that, you're staying here tonight." Scoffing, Yurio rose from the couch, leaving a wet spot where he had sat, and strutted over to Yuuri.

"Yeah, and where are we gonna sleep?"

"W-well, I'm sleeping in Victor's room tonight, so you can take my room..." He slowly turned to look at Otabek. "Um...you wouldn't mind sleeping on the couch...would you?" The tall boy turned to stare deadpanned right at him. 

"I'll sleep in your room too." He said simply, before turning to squeeze out the last of the water from his jacket.

_"Wait...isn't Yurio sleeping in there? Why--"_

_"...Oh"_

_._

_._

_._

_"...OH" (AGAIN because some people can’t keep their thoughts to themselves, not meant in any sort of dirty implication) _

Yurio eyed the ravenette as he took in the situation, then interrupted his thoughts.

"Yo, piggy! You got any clothes? I'm soaking here." Yurio called out, plopping back down on the couch. Both he and Otabek had started to shiver, sending a wave of guilt through Yuuri. They'd been here for a good 5 minutes and had yet to dry off.

"Uh, yeah, you can borrow some of mine, though I doubt they'll fit you well."

"Well big clothes are better than none, dumbass."

"H-hey!" Yuuri nearly screeched the word, but stopped himself just in time. He refused to let Vitya wake up, especially smack in the center of a cyclone with thunder. Not after the revelation of last night. Sighing, he jabbed his finger at Yurio. "Stay here, and don't do anything dumb." The blond stuck his tongue out at him. 

"You're such a nag." Reluctantly, Yuuri turned his back on the teenagers and made his way down the hallway and into his room, making sure to show down as he passed Victor's door.

A minute later he walked back out with two hoodies and 2 pairs of sweatpants. He had pulled them out of the donation pile in the back of his closet. Upon seeing the dry clothes, Yurio lept out of his seat.

"I call changing first!"

"SHHHHH!!" Yuuri hissed through his teeth, handing him a set. "Bathroom's down the hall, to the left, DO NOT make a mess." As the smaller teen passed him, he could have sworn he heard him say "nag". He just stood there, deadpanned, as he heard the bathroom door close. Then, he was faced with no other choice but to look at the only other person in the room.

The only sound disturbing their staring contest was the wind howling outside and the occasional far-away rumble. Both stared intently at the other, neither of them daring to blink. This was now a test of dominance, a right of passage, a battle to win all battles. It had been decided that the winner would be superior in asserting their manliness. Time passed at a snail's pace as the world around the two blurred into a muddy void of nothingness. The poison of drying eyes was slowly beginning to make itself known to Yuuri, along with the agony of not seeing any change in Otabek's position. Unknowingly, the two had begun to inch closer and closer, as if this would give them any advantage in the competition. The air grew tense, even the wind outside seem to pause to watch this match. The match that would decide it all. This would chose--

"Are you two about to kiss or something? Bleh."

The sudden voice caused Yuuri's heart to skip a beat. And in that beat, he lost all control of his eyelids, and they blinked closed.

"I win." Otabek said simply, straightening up from where he had been crouching down to Yuuri's eyelevel. Silently cursing on the inside, Yuuri spun in his seat to where Yurio was standing. He wore a black hoodie with, surprise surprise, an orange cat on it, and light gray sweatpants that matched the ones Victor had been wearing. The sleeves of the hoodie fell way beyond Yurio's hands, and the sweatpants bunched down by his feet. By the look of Yurio’s face, he wasn't very amused.

"Win what?" He muttered as he trudged back over to the couch and plopped down on the dry cushion.

"Nothing." Yuuri siad the word a bit too quickly and, realizing his mistake, shoved the other set of clothes into Otabek's hands. "Down the hall, to your right, don't make a mess, yadda yadda." The man eyed him strangely before disappearing behind the hallway wall. Breathing a sigh of relief, the ravenette plopped down on an armchair and swiveled it to face the couch. Behind all the folds of fabric, Yurio's face was barely visible. The teenager sighed a deep breath, sinking deeper into the endless sea of comfort. Yuuri chuckled.

"You look comfy."

"Da..." Suddenly, his eyes opened, and he looked around, as if realizing something imperative. "So, where's Victor? I thought you two lived together or dumb shit."

"Oh he's sleeping." As if called on cue, a loud rumble of thunder made itself known right on top of them. "And I'd rather not wake him."

Yurio nodded. "That's right, I forgot he's afraid of thunder." Yuuri's head whipped around to stare at the teen, scooting up to the edge of his seat.

"Wait, you knew that?"

"Da."

"And you didn't think to mention that one small-but-not-very-small detail to me?"

"нет, it's super obvious." Yurio suddenly sat up, a wide smirk on his face. "Wait, did you seriously not know that??" The Japanese man flushed in embarrassment. "Wow, you are such a bad boyfriend."

"I am not his boyfriend." He snapped.

"Oh, no, you're right sorry, his FIANCE." He gestured to the ring that was shining out in broad daylight. In a quick move, Yuuri shoved his hand into the hoodie he was wearing. (Y'ALL WE HAVING A HOODIE FEST UP IN HERE.) Yurio opened his mouth to say something else but was cut off suddenly. A rose pink immediately dusted his cheeks. Confused by his sudden silence, Yuuri swiveled the chair around to see what he was looking at. 

Otabek stood at the entrance to the room, his hair glistening in the little light coming from the lamp near the door. He wore a light gray hoodie with a tiger on it and black sweatpants. In his hands, he held both his soaking clothes and Yurio's, which had been left on the floor of the bathroom. Yuuri alternated glances between the two hoodied up men. A small smirk tugged at his lips as he watch Otabek completely ignore him and strut straight over to Yurio who hadn't moved nor taken his eyes off the man the entire time. Yuuri recognized his expression; he had seen the exact same one of Victor multiple times. Otabek plopped the clothes down on the floor near the foot of the couch then turned to Yuuri.

"Uh...thanks for taking us in." He muttered stiltedly. Yuri took this as a subtle way to tell him "now leave us alone" so he sprung to his feet.

"No problem." A long period of silenced seconds passed. "Well, um, I'm gonna head to bed, if you need me." Without waiting for a reply, Yuuri spun on his heels and shuffled back towards Victor's room, slicking off the lamp in the process.

"Yo, pork cutlet bowl... we can't see!" Ignoring those words, Yuuri softly pressed down on the door handle, careful not to let it click too loudly, and slid into the room.

***CRACKABOOM***

"Yuuuuuuri...." Victor's soft voice filled the room, calling out in a tone laced with fear and desperation. The voice wasn't completely clear, so he wasn't awake: that much had become evident to Yuuri. Widening his eyes at the sudden darkness of the rooms, Yuuri stuck his hands out and slowly began his trek over to his side of the bed.

_*1 minute time skip brought to you by Yuuri wandering around in the dark for a minute... guys it's 2 in the morning, I've written over 4,000 words don't judge my laziness*_

Finally, Yuuri's hands landed on the soft feel of the linen sheets. Breathing a sigh of relief that he hadn't died, he slowly lowered himself into the bed, immediately squirming over until he found Victor's hands, which had been outstretched, clinging said sheets. As soon as they felt Yuur's soft touch, they released the fabric and instead slithered themselves around his back, clinging onto him once more. Immediately, Yuuri felt as Victor's body relaxed and released a content sigh. Now it wasYuuri's turn to be struck by the oddly-calming sensation that was Victor's heartbeat, his eyelids drooping heavily. It's soft thumping drowned out the best of the rain outside, lulling him in to a world of dreams, each and every single one of which had Victor in it.

But this was all after he had just barely heard two muttered words that had become a declaration to the world:

"My Yuuri..."


	2. Surprise?? (Victuuri) || Part One

"Yuuri~ My little piggy, I miss you!!" 

"Victor it hasn't even been a month!" 

"I know, but I still do!!" Yuuri flashed a smile at the computer screen, watching as the small picture mirroring him in the corner copied. Victor, who's face made up 90 percent of said screen flashed one back. 

"It really is too bad I can't come to your qualifier." Yuuri rest his head against his palm as he felt a yawn build up in the back of his throat. He tried to hold it in but failed as it squeaked out.

"Yuuri, you look tired. Sleep. We'll talk tomorrow." Yes we sure will. "What did I tell you about staying up too late?" 

"I know, I'm sorry Vitya. It's just this is the only time we get to talk thanks to the time difference. I mean, you just finished practice and I wanted to give you time to eat and relax, I know you have a photo shoot later and then you have the competition tomorrow and..." 

"Yuuuuuri...sleep." Victor cut him up, putting on his concerned coach face. "Now." It's not like Yuuri didn't want to sleep: in fact that sounded like a dream to his aching eyes right now. But he couldn't. Not right now...still, there was no complaining when Victor had his concerned coach face on. But...what was he going to do, reach his arm through the computer screen and force him to sleep? He knew that if Victor found out what was currently occupying his head, he would be very against it, so that was kept in. Let's see how well I can lie...

"Fine..." He let out his most believable yawn, rubbing his eyes. "I'll go to bed." 

"Good." Victor's smile returned. "Sleep well my love." 

"Good night Vitya~" As if it were a routine, which, at this point, it was, both of them pressed their lips to their matching golden rings simultaneously. Though scientifically it would be impossible, whenever they did this, they could feel each other's connection, no matter how far away they were. This was their tradition, their little secret. Nobody else knew about it. Smiling, Yuuri gave Victor one last wave before shutting the laptop and laying back on his bed. Yes, that last yawn had been completely fake, but not all of them were. The truth was that the man was exhausted BEYOND BELIEF. His limbs ached like they had never ached before and his eyelids begged to close and stay closed. His mind was jumbled, and it had been a miracle he had been able to complete full sentences with Victor. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to sit up and look around the room, before finally letting his eyes settle on the suitcase sitting near the doorway. 

_ "I still have an hour left...it wouldn't hurt to be early, would it?"  _

His heart was suddenly leaping in his chest faster than his brain was working as he swung his legs over the edge of his bed and stood up. He walked over to the mirror hanging on the wall and tried in vain to tame the monstrosity that had become his hair. Combing his finger through one particularly tangled lock, he allowed his mind to wander once more. How would Victor react? Would he be mad? He wouldn't be mad...would he? As he was succeeding in pulling his fingers out of the black strands of hair, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Absentmindedly he slipped his hand in and pulled it up, squinting as the bright screen illuminated the room. 

"Huh, it's from Yurio." He muttered out loud, reading the text that followed. 

<"Yo, pork cutlet bowl. You're at the airport right? You didn't get distracted at home did you?">

_ "What is he talking about? My flight doesn't leave for another three hours."  _ Brows furrowing, he typed his response and sent it through. Three dots appeared on the screen before a bubble of text came through. 

<"IDIOT. Check the time. If you miss this plane I swear to god...">

Heart dropping down to his pelvis, Yuuri swiped down from the home screen of his phone. 3:54. 

His flight left in twenty minutes. The color drained from Yuuri's face as he registered what he was seeing. _ "God I'm so screwed."  _ Nearly dropping his phone in the process, Yuuri scrambled out of his room, grabbing the suitcase handle and flying down the hallway of the resort. He nearly ran smack into his sister as he flew out the door. 

"Yuuri!! Why are you still here??' 

"I DON'T KNOWWW..." The crisp mid-winter wind chilled him to the bone as he barreled down the sidewalk towards the taxi stop. He shivered violently already, his mind racing as to why he would possibly be this cold. His eyes scanned the streets frantically.  _ "Shit I don't see any cabs... oh I am so screwed I am so screwed I am so..."  _

"Get in." The sudden roar of an engine next to him almost caused his guts to jump out of his skin. He turned to see the family van pull up next to him, the window rolled down to reveal his sister at the wheel. "Unless you want to miss the flight." Yuuri couldn't help but smile as he climbed into the passenger side of the van, holding his suitcase in his lap. His cheeks warmed at the air that blasted from the vents, and he couldn't help but forget all about his dilemma for just a quick second. 

That all changed as fast as Victor's mood swings when he heard the wheels screech and felt the van take off at the speed of Chris's organs as (GOD I AM SO SORRY) Yuuri grasped onto his clothing as his surroundings turned into blurs of color and lighting. 

"JEEZ HOW FAST ARE YOU GOING??" 

"Fast enough to get you to the airport on time." Mari whooped as she rolled down her window and stuck her arm out. Immediately Yuuri figured out why he had been so cold: he had left his jacket at home on his bed. All he had on now was a white long sleeved shirt with blue lines and black pants. Most definitely not adequate clothing for the temperature it was currently outside. And it's gonna be worse in Russia. 

"Yo, we're almost there." Yuuri snapped up from his nearly-asleep position and looked out the window at the passing airport signs. That was...inhumanly fast..... Deciding it'd be best not to ask just how fast his sister had driven, his gaze turned back to look up at the night sky out the front windshield. 

_ "I'll be there...soon..." _

**_*Lazy time skip brought to you by Chris coming on the ice and JJ kissing it afterwards because that's literally what he did....*_ **

Well...his sister had been right about one thing...he had gotten to the airport on time. In fact, had he not been calling his name out as loud as he could to the lady at the desk, they most definitely closed the gate doors without him. The look on her face as she saw a half-asleep disheveled looking man sprinting full speed at her, without a coat in the Japanese winter, waving his crumpled up ticket in the air had been absolutely priceless. She'd almost not let him in in fear of him being some drug-addicted sociopath. Of course as soon as she'd read his name her eyes had lit up at the thought of being in the presence of figure skating greatness and she had gladly welcomed him onboard. 

Of course this flight hadn't been the easiest either. He was stuck at the very back near the toilets, seated on the window set next to a wailing baby and an apologetic mother. His entire nine hour flight, though silent thanks to the onboard movies provided, had been filled with the smell of poop, which he couldn't tell if it was from the bathrooms or the baby. Trying to take his mind from the hellish situation he was in, he scrolled through the movie section of the seat back television, before finally settling on trying to catch up on sleep instead. 

It had been the loud ding of the seatbelt sign turning on that had woken him up. At first his eyes had been so blurry he thought he was in his own room. Then, the smell hit and the realization of where he was hit him like a slap to the face. Blinking his eyes, he raised the window cover and glanced outside. Below him lights and colors decorated the land below. They glittered like stars. 

Moscow...

Once the plane had landed, he was struck with more bad news: His suitcase hadn't made it onto the plane in time, so it was left in Hasetsu. Meaning the only items he had with him now was his personal backpack. And no clothes. Great. His phone buzzed in his hand as a text message popped on the screen: 

Yurio: I'm waiting outside the rink. Hurry up Pork Cutlet Bowl Victor starts soon.

_ "So he didn't even come to pick me up..."  _ Sighing, he walked out of the sliding doors. Immediately he began to miss his brown coat. Snow fell steadily from the sky, coating everything in a thing sheen of white. A chill, unlike that of the ice rink, blasted through the thin material coving his arms and legs, so much so he might as well have walked out but naked and wouldn't have felt a difference. This was a cold that stung, a cold that gripped onto one's skin and refused to let go. Moving his hands up and down his arms in a feeble attempt to bring a drop of warmth to his shivering body, his half-closed eyes scanned the bustling airport sidewalk. There, through a crowd of people all huddled around the tattered remains of what looked like a map, he spotted the canary yellow of a taxi. Breathing out a sign of both relief and excitement, he took of down the icy surface, wobbling slightly but never quite fully slipping. 

In the driver's seat of said taxi sat a man smoking a cigarette. He had a full face of a gray beard with a dark line of hair running down the middle of both that and his mustache. He looked run down and disheveled, shooting Yuuri a dark look when he noticed him approaching the cab, which was in no better shape. The paint was partially peeled, and among opening the door, the bitter stench of smoke made itself prominent. Yuuri debated waiting for another ride, but, seeing as if the airport seemed to get more busy by the second, he chose against it and slipped into the back seat, backpack in hand. Through he didn't look, he could feel the driver's glare through the mirror. 

"Что ты хочешь?" He demanded, finally turning to stare at the raven haired man. Assuming he was asking for the location, Yuuri glanced down at the address written on his arm. 

"Uh...the Ice Rink, please." The man stared at him, brows furrowing. Assuming he didn't understand, Yuuri repeated the address. The man's demeanor unchanging, he tapped away at his phone. Moments later, the monotonous voice of a computer rang from it, reciting the address in Russian. The driver nodded his head slowly in agreement, before straightening in his seat and slamming down the accelerator. Recognizing this motion, Yuuri hurriedly grasped the door rest, expecting the car to short off like Mari's had. 

Instead, a rough sputtering noise filled the inside, and the vehicle began to inch forward. The Japanese man's heart sank at the speed, but he took a breath, regretting the move instantly as his lungs filled with the acrid scent of tobacco. 

_ "Maybe he's moving slow because we're still in the airport. He'll probably speed up when we get on the highway."  _

Well he was right. As soon as the turtle of a car jerked into the main expressway it did speed up.... 

A full 3 mph. 

Yuuri's jaw clenched as he watched the cars around him whiz by. He estimated that at this rate, he may not have enough time to reach the stadium in time. Shakily, he stuttered, 

"D-do you mind going a bit faster?" 

"Какой?" When he noticed no change in speed, he once again brought up the translator app on his phone. Among hearing the words, the man spun his entire head to glare back at him, giving Yuuri a heart attack as they were still moving. Without opening his mouth, the driver held a hand out. Yuuri didn't need any words to figure out what this meant. 

Still panicking, he grabbed a bill from his pocket and shoved it into the hand without even bothering to look at the amount. 

The man eyed the currency, as if examining its usefulness, before returning to his original position. 

Immediately the car seemed to speed up, but not by much. 

What was supposed to have been a 10 minute ride turned into one of half an hour. By the time the large supporting beams of the ice rink came into view and the car had begun to roll to a stop, the sun had already begun it's descent, though not by much. Thanking the man, Yuuri scrambled out of the seat, making sure to grab his backpack, and took off towards the entrance where Yurio had told him to go. The frigid air only grew more prominent has a gust of wind whipped him in his face. As he whirled a corner, he spotted a familiar figure, hunched over by a single door. 

"YURIO!!" Said boy turned at the sound of his name, his face drawn into a scowl. As Yuuri approached him, the tirade began. 

"Are you kidding?! I've been waiting out here for thirty minutes, where the fuck have you been?!" Slowing to a stop, he just stood there, allowing himself to soak in the words. 

"Nice to see you too." He muttered as the ranting began to die down. "Speaking of which..." His eyes widened at the significance of his tardiness. "...Victor hasn't gone yet, has he??" 

"No, not yet. He's about to, though." Grunting, Yurio opened the rusty door, revealing the rather dark interior. Heart thumping rapidly now, Yuuri stepped into the musky hallway, failing to feel the teen's eyes on him as he passed. "Where's your luggage? Did you lose it or some shit?" 

"No, it was left in Hasetsu. I nearly missed the flight so they didn't have time to get it on the plane." Yuuri explained, now walking side by side. The blond snorted. 

"HA! Serves you right for losing track of time. What were you doing, facetiming your boyfriend?" Yuuri refused to answer that, instead focusing on the sound of the roaring crowd that increased in volume as he walked. He could a staircase up ahead, one that he assumed led up to the ice. 

"And now...representing Russia...Victor Nikiforov!!" Upon hearing the name, Yuuri broke out into a sprint, scrambling up the stairs and leaving Yurio behind. He burst through the doorway that led into the main performance area, just in time to see the said man skate out into the ice, his back turned to where Yuuri stood. His heart fluttered at the sight of the sil--sorry, PLATINUM hair and long slender legs. 

As Victor struck his opening pose in the center of the ice, Yuuri began to feel some eyes on him as well as caught some rising whispers. Refusing to let him take any attention away from Victor, he sank back into the darkness of the hallway, putting himself out of the light so he wouldn't be spotted but could still watch the performance. Unknowingly, a smile had appeared on his face. 

This didn't stop the whispers, however, thought they were very few. Holding his breath, hoping whoever had seen him would forget about the sighting, his ears picked up the opening chords of a song that he recognized to be 'The Rose.' Victor had long expressed interest in the song, and though so many argued to him that it was a song meant to be skated to by women, he had insisted on it this year. Yuuri's eyes watched as Victor's hand rose to the air in such a graceful manner they could have been mistaken for the delicate petals of a rose. As the opening verse ended and melted away into the second, Yuuri caught a good look at Victor's eyes. It had been a glance of a second, but it had told him enough. His eyes were laced with the delicate coating of longing, not the typical sexual type, but a different type. One that yearned to feel the physical touch. Loneliness. It prompted tears to fill his eyes. 

During their nightly conversations, not once had Victor displayed even an inch of any negative emotion. It just went to show how well he was at hiding them. 

The performance melted away into a blur in Yuuri's eyes. The way that Victor moved along to the beat and the voice of the song was unlike anything he had seen in such a long time. He could almost feel the Russian's connection to the song, how the instruments were the onces commanding his body and not the choreography. Yuuri's eyes had been kidnapped by that man and they refused to let go. As the song reached its climax, Victor performed his quad flip, the move he was so known for, before his movements began to slow. Realizing the song was nearly at the end, Yuuri stepped out of the darkness and started making his way over to where the floor met the ice. More and more eyes stared at the familiar skater, but that feeling was lost as the crowd erupted into roars as Victor struck his final pose. 

_ "Wait..." _ It didn't take much to recognize said pose: it had been the pose that Yuuri had struck at the end of his free skate the year he had met Victor. A smile now blatantly plastered on his face, he followed where the hand was pointing toward. 

Him. It was pointed at him. 

Yuuri stared at the man. Had he known? How. Maybe he'd seen him while spinning...no, that'd have been impossible. Squinting his eyes, he noticed that Victor's eyes were closed. So he hadn't known: he had been pointing there by complete coincidence. Still...it felt good. He watched as the Russian lowered his arm, and spun to face the crowd, probably soaking in the cheers. Just barely able to contain his excitement, Yuuri opened his mouth and shouted Victor's name. 

"VICTOR!!" 

Victor, meanwhile, had been waving to the crowd, ignoring the reporters as they gushed about his 'flawless' performance. 

_ "No..it hadn't been flawless..." _ Flashing his forced smile, he began to spin to head towards the kiss and cry. His eyes fell to the ice ahead of them. He didn't want to look up. He didn't see the point in looking up. It would all be the same...

He couldn't help but think about Yuuri in that moment, about how much he was looking forward to calling him tonight, now much he missed his warm touch and sweet scent. How...he wouldn't be able to feel any of that for another two weeks...

"VICTOR!!!" 

_ "I can still hear his voice... god I miss him so much..."  _

"VICTOR!!! Over here!!" The voice had blended into the crowd's cheers, but had been enough to catch the skater's ears. His head jerked upward, looking for whoever had called. Thinking it had been a reporter or a fan, he turned his head to look up at where he was going. 

He nearly fainted in that moment. 

For there, standing in the open space, arms waving in the air, glasses crooked, hair an absolute mess riddled with flakes of snow, stood a familiar Japanese man, one that had been occupying his thoughts for weeks. It took his eyes a moment to take in what was right in front of him. 

_ "Oh my god..." _ His mouth slowly turned up into a smile at the man's loud calling and frantic waving. Suddenly, Victor had taken off, skating at full speed towards him, tears forming at his eyes. Yuuri dropped his backpack to the ground, not caring as objects inside clattered. 

Ocean eyes met mocha ones. And they clicked. 

Victor flew into Yuuri's open arms. 

"I-I don't believe it!! It's Yuuri Katsuki!!" The reporter's voices boomed. 

The crowd's cheer only grew as they noticed the Japanese skater. But to the two, they only muffled more. At this point, they were occupied. Yuuri tightened his hold around Victor's sequenced outfit, burying his face into his shoulder and taking in the scent. He hadn't known how much he had needed this until now, how much he missed Victor's gentle touch, his racing heartbeat. The amount of pure unbridled love he felt at that moment was beyond what he had ever felt, more than the exchanging of pair rings, more than when Victor had told him about the returned. It was a feeling that just couldn't be replicated. This was a feeling that nobody else could experience but them. This was their feeling. Their love. 

Suddenly, the chill of the ice melted away, and was replaced by Victor's warmth. Not a warmth that came from clothes or a fire, this was a warmth that could only come from the hold of somebody you loved. 

A soft sniffling sound pulled him back into reality, and he pulled away from the embrace, still leaving his arms wrapped. He looked up, only to be met with blue eyes full of tears. 

"Y-you're here..." The voice was low, whispered, but clear as day to him. Flashing a smile, he responded, 

"Uh...surprise??" He was cut off by a soft warm feeling on his lips. His eyes widened in surprise to see Victor had leans down and pressed his chapped lips against his. Though it had come as an absolute shock, he had no problem returning it. 

He'd missed this. Oh how he'd missed this warmth against his lips. He hadn't realized just how much he had longed for this feeling until he hadn't had it anymore. It felt like heaven to him. Absolute ecstasy. They both had melted in, blending into one. Yuuri's cold was now Victor's cold. Victor's warmth was now Yuuri's warmth. Neither of them wanted to pull away. Neither of them wanted to become two again, for fear the separation would become permanent. Victor couldn't help but feel a bit sad as the man in his hold pulled away. 

"Victor...the scores..." He had meant to whisper it, but to victor, it was more like a purr. Smiling not once faltering, Victor lowered his hand from around Yuuri's neck and enclosed it into the free hand. He tried to speak, but it soon became clear that if he did, he would start crying. So, he instead pushed all those tears into smiles as both of them walked towards the kiss and cry. The crowd was still furious with cheers as the two sat down on the bench, Victor immediately resting his head on Yuuri's shoulder. His scent was like an addiction: once he got some, he just wanted more. He didn't care about the score: He already knew he had qualified, based on the other's performances. He just wanted to be left alone with Yuuri, was that too much to ask? 

"Victor...Victor!!" Suddenly, he was being shaken back into reality, and met with Yuuri's ecstatic expression. "You did it Victor, you won!!" He couldn't help but stare. Stare straight into those brown eyes brimming with absolute excitement. They glimmered, sparkled as if they were made of diamonds. His skin looked to be made of porcelain, soft, slightly flushed. His hair continuously fell over his glasses, looking to be as soft as absolute pure silk. 

_ "Yes, Yuuri, I won. I really won." _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah there’s a separate second part to this but it’s so tooth-rotting sweet Imma have to post it later


	3. Oh How He’d Missed This. .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I ain’t too proud of this one but I need to post SOMETHING.

_Laughter is the antidote to the anaphylactic thoughts that can plague one's mind._

_-Me, the author. Literally I made this up on the spot._

Victor loved laughter. The word itself held a special spot in his heart, but the action even more so. And why wouldn't it? Laughter had been the warmth that held him on those cold Russian nights. Laughter had been the parent he had never had. Laughter had convinced him that loving men was ok. Laughter made him feel like Victor. Not Victor Nikiforov, the legend of Russia, the world-wide famous figure skater, the hot bachelor from St. Petersburg.

But Victor. Himself. Victor.

Laughter was a gift, and he wanted to share that to the one he loved. It was his daily goal: to get that open smile, to hear that melodious sound that was, as cheesy as it was, music to his ears. It was this need to see laughter that motivated his flamboyant movements, that fueled his bubbly speech.

After Life and Love comes Laughter.

But...

Victor frowned as he traced Yuuri's rose lips with his eyes, following the line of the mouth over and over again. He thought of himself as Yoda, willing the force to push the tips of that mouth up. His finger tapped the table repeatedly in a continuous motion, constant, pattered. _Come on...come on..._

He could feel as his own mouth pressed into a tight line. His efforts were futile, and his heart felt as if it were sinking at that fact.

When was the last time Yuuri laughed?

Victor couldn't remember. And that was, to no end, depressing to him.

"Victor....you're staring again."

"Hmm?" It's almost as if he were broken out of a trance as the voice cut through his thoughts. He cocked his head as his eyes focused, landing on Yuuri's auburn eyes.

They looked sad.

"Yuuri....can you do me a favor?" It was the Japanese man's turn to look confused. It wasn't unlike Victor to change up a subject almost immediately, especially if it was one that he wasn't fond of, but him staring? Yuuri would've liked to think that it was a subject Victor enjoyed talking about. Now he was scared.

"Uhh...depends."

"Can you laugh for me?" Yuuri looked up from his book, pulling the bookmark from its previous position and placing it firmly in place. His brows furrowed slightly.

"What?"

"Laugh."Victor sat up straighter—sorry, gayer, his eyes narrowing. The answer was blunt, gayforward. It had the same energy as when he had told Yuuri to turn around at the residential cup for a hug. He wasn't playing around. He clenched his jaw, before sighing.

"Uh...haha?" An unamused look fell onto the Russian's face at the half-assed chuckle.

"That doesn't count."

"Well, I'm sorry but I can't give you a real laugh if there's nothing making me laugh." He muttered as he closed his book and rest his elbows on the kotatsu. His nose scrunched as the words which he had just said made themselves known to his brain. "Sorry, that was a bit harsh." He stared at Victor as he seemed to stare off into space, contemplating his life's choices, observing for any wrong crinkles in his skin or down turned pushes at his lips. This sudden silence was daunting to him, made his mind wander. Had he said something wrong? Was he upset? He hadn't spoken that harshly, had he? Concern washed over his eyes. "Vitya..." Something soft brushed up against his midsection, sending a small breeze of tingle up his skin. Tensing up, he looked down to see a finger disappear under the table. A silent chuckle built up in his chest, but he compressed it down. This didn't go unnoticed.

A small smirk slid onto Victor's face as a small idea popped into his mind. His finger twitched.

It all happened in a flash. A whisp of air. A breath. Victor lunged forward, hands at the ready. They made contact with his abdomen and began crawling up and down. Yuuri lunched back, but not before the explosion of stimuli shot through his body. A suppressed laugh squeaked its way out of his lips in a small snort.

"I heard that...." A smile appeared on Victor's face. That, right there, was the reaction he had been looking for. His heart was nearly skipping beats at this point as he jumped forward once more, almost attacking the man this time. Beautiful laughs spilled from the man's mouth as Victor landed on top of him, forehead pressed against forehead. At that very moment, they were one.

"No....Vitya...STOP!!!" He mustered out between breathless laughs, squeals coming out in between snorts. "His laugh is so beautiful." In a panic, Yuuri's hands shot to Victor's sides, his legs flailing out. "I cant breathe hehe!!"

"There's that laugh!!" Victor yelled out in a joyous tone, his eyes sparkling. Laughing now, he brought himself closer to the man, taking in his warm scent and bubbling persona. This. He'd missed this. This pure unbridled joy. This cloud-nine heavenbetween the two of them.

The last few weeks between the two had been lacking this warmth. In fact, it had been lacking interaction. With a competition coming up in just a few days, Yuuri had taken every spare moment he had available to practice or work out, so much so Victor had started calling the ice rink his second home. It seemed like he spent more time on the ice than at home. Slowly, the cold of the ice had began to pull the two apart.

Victor couldn't help but clame himself: he'd been coaching Yuuri during the normal training sessions. 6:30 am to 11:30 am, a break for lunch, then 12:30 to 3:30pm. But...the empty bed at night, the skipping of diners, the dark circles under his eyes, the extra exhaustion and weakened limbs. Those bruises on his arm that just hadn't been there yesterday, they hadn't gone unnoticed. And he'd done nothing about it. He'd made no attempt to stitch up this thinning sting between them.

But now...as they were here, bodies pressed up against the other, laughters mixing into one, their breaths shared... this string had shrunken, pulled them closer, gotten stronger. It was almost as if the rings the two shared began to shine more than they had ever shone before, just as brightly as they had in Barcelona. 

Victor is pulled away from his thoughts when the squirming figure in his grasps disappears, crawling away from his hold, still laughing.

"Ok....that's enough..." He musters through breathless pants, his smile just lighting up the living room. "I can't breathe..." He chuckled. He'd missed this too. This swelling of his heart, this longing to be near him.

But the tickling? That was new. And his brain just wasn't used to it.

He heard Victor inhale, and looked up to see a wide smirk plastered on his face. He recognized this smirk.

"Victor...no. Stop it." He held his finger up as if he were dealing with a child. And just like a child....Victor licked it. He recoiled it immediately. "Ok, that was unnecessary." He whined, scrambling backwards until his back was pressed up against the wall. Victor continued crawling forward towards him, like a cat stalking its prey. The mischievous glow in his eye suddenly struck Yuuri as to how serious Victor was about this. 

_He wants to play this game? Fine..._

At this point, Yuuri was pinned to the wall, Victor's arm resting over his head on the wall, trapping him in a box of.... Victor-ness. His other hand was resting under his chin, tipping it upwards so his eyes were forced to look into the ocean blue ones. This brought him back. Back to one of the first days when Victor had first come to the hot springs. Only this time, he wasn't a blushing stammering mess. And he was going to play back.

"Makkachin!" He turned his head to the side suddenly, looking at the room. No Makkachin wasn't there. This was all part of his plan. Victor straightened up and turned in the direction he was looking towards at the mention of his beloved dog. Yuuri took this moment of weakness in his boyfriend to squirm out of the hold and scramble to his feet. The Russian noticed this just a second too late, and turned around just in time to see him disappear through the doorway, yelling "You'll never catch me alive!!"

"Oh get back here you!!" The older male jumped to his feet and took off after the ravenette, a large heart shaped smile appearing on his face.

Oh how he'd missed this.


	4. Things He Noticed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stress. 
> 
> It’s a monster

Yuuri wasn't sleeping.

This was obvious; the dark bags under his hooded eyes left little to the imagination, and his languished movements only grew slower as the days went on. He wasn't only just not sleeping. He wasn't slating well either. Jumps that he rarely failed were missed, step sequences that he specialized in sloppy. Viktor had begun to notice. How could he not? This was his fiancé after all. To not notice would be the greatest crime of the century.

Yuuri came home late almost every day. Directly after practice, off he would scurry without so much as an explanation, and later return nearly completely wiped out. It took 5 seconds, a loving stroke to his cheek, the soft plant of a kiss on his forehead, even just a softness of a lover's hug, and he was out. Viktor would have to go to sleep without his Yuuri cuddles. This was, by all means, torture to the puppy husband who needed to be cuddled.

Yuuri was stressed. This Viktor had deduced as his failed jumps continue to pile. His anxiety attacks, which had begun to become more and more rare, had swarmed back in a storm, a new one ensuing nearly every day. And they became harder to overcome, and no matter how much Viktor tried to help it, it seemed like the more he tried, the less it helped. Before, just his soft voice and soft strokes in the charcoal hair would be enough to calm him down. Now, not even his sister, who was admittedly more experienced in these than he was, could stop the flowing tears with ease over the phone.

Yuuri remained quiet. He and Viktor would usually spend hours upon hours chatting in the apartment after practice, joking about Georgi's new makeup look or Yuri's most recent tantrum, talking about whatever was looming on their minds and comfort each other, or just cuddle and giggle about the most random facts, all of which usually happened under the soft hug of a shared blanket and a cup of tea. This was their time. Viktor's favorite time of all. But Yuuri was never home for those, not anymore. And that time would be spent alone, stroking Makkachin's curled fur, watching a show on TV with a blank stare, or trying (and most of the time failing) to hold the tears of his past in. Yuuri was usually there to help him with these. Now it seemed like he was alone again.

Yuuri wasn't ok. This is what Viktor deduced. No matter how much he tried to coerce the answer out of him however, he refused to let it slip by. Viktor was growing more than upset, but not at his fiancé. At himself. He didn't know what was going on, but his brain convinced him that whatever it was, it was his fault and he should have been able to fix it.

Viktor was starting to get sad. And he was going to get to the bottom of this.

When Yuuri awoke he noticed four things right away.

Number one: just how close Viktor was holding himself to him. The way he clung onto his hooded figure was like a child clinging onto a beloved stuffed animal. Almost as if he were to be taken away from him any second and he wanted to hold on as long as possible.

Number two: It was much too light to be normal. The normal darkness of the room that was what they woke up to was replaced by a gray ambience streaming in through the crack of the curtains, filling the room with a dull gray glow that was consistent with that one a rainy day. This was further proven by the oh so faint sound of a downpour outside.

Number three: It was much too quiet. The usual shrill screech of Viktor's alarm that was their morning greeting was no where to be found, replaced instead by the soft sounds of his husband's breathing. It was a relaxing wake, to say the least, but also concerning. 

Number four: By this point he'd forgotten number four.

Trying his hardest not to move too much, he twisted his head and groped his hand around until it landed on his phone to check the time. As soon as his eyes landed on the numbers, his mouth ran dry. Letting out a short squeal, he dropped his phone back down and began to shake the man holding him in a frenzy.

"Viktor, Viktor, we overslept. We're late for practice!" The older man's eyes opened just enough so he could see that he was awake. Letting it a soft sigh, he tightened his grip on Yuuri, bringing him closer up against his chest and rendering him frozen at the lack of care that they were potentially hours late to their training session. He nearly shrieked when Viktor turned suddenly housing Yuuri up so he was laying on top of him, head resting on his chest. The blanket was tightened over the two of them, surrounded them in an enchanting cocoon of warmth that nearly lulled him to sleep once more.

"Mm, practice is cancelled today..." He mumbled nearly incoherently, adjusting his grip on Yuuri so he was hugging him quite tightly. Yuuri struggled against this iron hold. As much as this position made the butterflies in his stomach go insane, something was holding him from the comfort of the hug.

"What?! You can't just cancel practice like that! What about our schedule... Viktor, are you even listening?!" He glared down at his non-chilling expression, blowing the bangs out of his face so he could shoot his point directly into his eyes.

"Yuuri..." Viktor now had his eyes nearly fully open, staring straight up at the man looking down at him curiously. He lifted a hand from his back and gently pushed a lock of hair from in front of Yuuri's eyes. "Please...come back to sleep. I'll explain later..." This offer was so _inviting_. Everything about it called to him, the warmth of the blanket draped over the two, the idea of being able to rest longer, letting the soft heartbeat of his lover below him lull him to sleep like a lullaby. It sounded like a dream. Sighing softly, he lifted his head and pressed his lips against Viktor's slightly parted ones in a touch so gentle, it could have been mistaken for the air. Viktor's lips parted into a relaxed smile as he returned the favor.

How long had it been since the two had shared a kiss like this? Yuuri couldn't remember, and neither could Viktor. Nonetheless the emotions that flooded through the Russian's veins were sweet ecstasy, and no effort of his could have restrained the soft contented moan that escaped his lips. It wasn't a moan of pleasure, nor of want; it lacked all the depth that made such a sound the symbol of sexuality. Instead it was soft, but filled to the brim with a soft happiness, a breath that read " _I missed you."_ They spun again so they were now sharing a pillow and staring directly into each other's eyes.

And for a second, just a brief moment, Yuuri forgot about his problem. He forgot and was instead mesmerized by the beauty in front of him. He forgot and he was in a world without cares, without a worry in the world. It was just him and his beloved fiancé. Just them. Viktor scooted himself closer, close enough so the slow gentle thumps of his heartbeat were just audible, and buried his nose into Yuuri's lock, inhaling the sweet scent of his ocean breeze shampoo that didn't quite smell like the ocean but instead like Yuuri himself. One hand rose to card itself through said locks, a motion he knew very well was Yuuri's guilty pleasure.

He couldn't help it; the gentle tugging at his hair, the warmth of the handsagainst his scalp, the soft repetitive motion, the combination was the equivalent a lullaby to a young child to him. This, along with the sweet scent of his fiancé was his weakness, and Viktor knew this. As his eyes drooped, the world around him lost all meaning, melting away into a melting pot of warmth. Just before he slipped under the surface of consciousness, he was able to mutter one word.

"Fine."

~~~

When Yuuri awoke for the second time, he noticedtwo things.

Number one: He was much too refreshed. His eyes didn't sting to sink back into the confort of the blanket, and his muscles didn't ache nearly as much as they usually did. He was able to sit up in bed without his head spinning wildly.

Number two: He was in bed alone. There was no octopus of a man clinging to him, whining for him to lay back down: that was replaced instead by a brown furry lump, snoring away quietly to his side.

Number three: That smell drifting in from under the door was heavenly. 

Ok, so maybe it was three things.

Inhaling another whiff of that sweet filling aroma, he took this sweet moment of peace to scan the room. Yep, nothing new. What was he to expect? The ambience was stil gray, he could still hear the faint pattering of the rain outside. Again, nothing new.

His stomach gurgled, and it was then that the faint wave of nausea that came with hunger hit him. Stroking Makka's fur with one hand, he reached for his phone with the other and checked the time.

 _13:07_. He had two hours. Setting his phone back down on the nightstand, he slipped out from underneath the covers, shivering slightly at the chilled air outside his bubble of sweet warmth. Even through the thin material of his training clothes, the cold still made itself present.

_Wait..._

It dawned on him just now, and he looked down with horror at his clothes. He was wearing yesterday's training clothes, a blue and black track suit. _"Did I not change last night?"_ Biting his lip, he stripped down and put on a fresh set of clothes, an too-big sweater that fell down to his thighs and some yoga pants, uncaring of how they hugged his legs in a form fitting manner.

Content with his change, he stumbled out of the room, leaving the door open for Makkachin later. He was met with soft singing along with the faint sounds of an unfamiliar song on the radio. Soft padding behind him drew his attention to a certain labradoodle bouncing giddily past him, tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. He trotted over to the source of the singing, a certain gray—sorry, platinum haired man flipping something over a stove. He was swaying his hips along to the beat, his head bobbing simultaneously.

It was comical, really; such an experienced figure skater bouncing along in such a childish way to a common pop song. Yuuri hid behind the wall, watching his fiancé with a smile spreading across his face. The beat began to increase as instruments added onto the main melody. Somewhere in the mix of melodious notes, the music began to climb, surely reaching its climax (NO STOP IT). Makkachin yipped, almost as if he were singing along to the song, and threw his two paws up Viktor's long twink legs. This grabbed his attention, and he set his spatula down and turned to face the dog. He grabbed the two paws with a heart-shaped smile on his face, and began to dance around with him like a child. Jumping up and down, they spun in a sloppy fashion. A smile tugged at his lips at the pair, and it took a great amount of energy for Yuuri not to laugh out loud. Makkachin yipped, more loudly than last time.

"Shhh...." Viktor giggled, hushing the pup and gesturing towards the bedroom. "Don't wanna wake up dad, do we?" Makkachin yipped once more, an annoyed yip as if calling him _"idiot_.” He pushed away from Viktor and bounded over to where Yuuri was standing, tugging at his sweater. Jumping, Yuuri shushed the pup and tugged away in hopes that he went unnoticed. However, Makkachin was relentless, and continued to pull until he finally dragged Yuuri out into the open, much to Viktor's surprise. His smile only widened, and he bounded over to him a childish canter.

"Yuuri!!" He called, grabbing his wrists and tugging him towards the center of the room. "Come dance with me!!" The beat of the music continued to rise in tempo and volume and he began to whirl the man around in a giddy spin. Yuuri opened his mouth to complain, but instead a loud laugh escaped him instead.

How could he _not_? This light feeling inside, he hadn't felt it in so long. It was like a drug, overcoming his body and letting it fall into the will of his emotions. That stress that had been bubbling up inside him was calmed, not enough to completely dissolve, but instead to be buried down underneath a cover of the present. And so he joined in, giggling as he was twirled around as if they were dancing the tango. The dance was without rhyme, reason, or order. They were led only by the beat of the music and the swelling of tempo.

The climax fell down to the second verse, accompanied by a march-like beat that was quite catchy. Viktor took this slow down to change the style of dancing, pulling his fiancé in to dance a slow ballroom sway, one that could easily be described as a waltz.The couple twirled as if they were connected, one in the same name (Victuuri ha—) and heartbeat. They met eyes, and their gazes locked in an enamored hold, one impossible to sever even if either of them tried. The light reflection in their eyes glimmered in sync, boasting the same ideas. Almost as if in a trance, they met in a sweet kiss, melting together as the measures of the song swirled around them, enveloping them into a world of their own. And if the world didn't have to move on, they would have stayed like that for eternity, locked in a lover's embrace.

But alas, the world does spin at the end of the day, and the fire alarm was on a mission. So, the second it caught whiff of a bitter scent, it screamed in both their ears, the pure surprise of the sound alone breaking this enchantment they had fallen under and pulling their souls back down to the cruel earth. Viktor released Yuuri, the spots where he'd been held burning. Yuuri pouted as he watch him scrabble over to the stove and yank the pan off the heat. From it rose a trickle of opaque black smoke. It was rushed over to the sink and what looked like a... _an oversized hockey puck_ was dumped into the running water, smothering the smoke nearly immediately. Thy both just stood there, staring at the charred... thing being drenched by the faucet, in complete and utter silence. It was Yuuri who broke the silence.

"Is that...sorry, WAS that a.. pancake?"

"Fried egg...." This only confused him further, but upon seeing Viktor's distraught expression, decided not to question it further. 

"Interesting..." 

"So.... how does cereal sound?"

"Good afternoon to you too." Viktor laughed and set the pan down in the sink to be washed later, then turned to face his fiancé with a coy smirk on his face. Yuuri was busy pulling two bowls from the cabinets and setting them on the table. He could feel Viktor's eyes on his back, and deliberately ignored them, just to get on his nerves. So he made sure to keep his back to him, even if it meant certain movements were awkward and slow. A huffed sigh let him know that his plan was working, and a mischievous smile slid unto his face. This was revenge. Revenge for all the coy tricks and schemes Viktor would play on him just to receive an extra kiss or to trap him into a hug. And Viktor's hugs, as he earned the hard hard way, were inescapable. Sure enough, a voice behind him drifted up, laced with annoyance.

"You're ignoring me." He called in a singsong voice.

"Am I?" Yuuri pursed his lips, still not turning around. "I hadn't noticed."

"Well stop it; you owe me something." Yuuri froze, cereal box in hand. His mouth ran dry and he took in a deep breath to calm the pounding inside his chest. This was it. This was the conversation that had been eating away at his consciousness little by little for weeks now, releasing its poisons at a torturous pace. It's those kinds of monsters that hurt the most; the ones can't be seen, the ones that work behind the shadows and threatened if ever faced with the opportunity to reveal itself. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he placed the box down on the table. _"Just play dumb"_ Plastering a fake smile, he spun to face Viktor. "And what is that?" Somewhere inside of him he knew it was futile. Viktor wasn't dumb. Sure he lacked common sense, and, yeah ok, it was a miracle that msn hadn't burned his apartment down before Yuuri came along, but he wasn't _dumb_.

"You know what." _Shit..._ Yuuri took in a deep breath, preparing the explanation in his head he'd memorized days ago in case it ever came to it. Though at this point the speech had been engraved in his mind, today the worlds melted into a jumbled mess, and he just couldn't remember anything. The pressure on his chest began to rise, and he gasped suddenly to try and alleviate it. "An official morning kiss."

All at once his blurring vision cleared, and he swallowed. _"Oh..."_ Viktor pursed his lips, tapping them with his finger. _"Play it cool, nothing happened."_

"Excuse me, sir, I do not." He said, mustering an awkward laugh mixed with a gasp for air. _"Dammit..."_ He forced himself to look up at his fiancé's face, which he half-expected to be drawn into an overdramatize pout. Instead he was met with furrowed brows.

"Yuuri... are you ok?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"You're shaking."

It was all very sudden; the dam that had been holding these boiling emotions had been cracking for a while. But now, those cracks were too much, and his walls no longer held the strength he'd worked so hard to build up.

The dam burst.

Had the world always been this small? All sound left his ears and he could hear _nothing_. The overwhelming silence crept in through his ears, crawling around his brain and down through his veins. His pose, which before had been sturdy enough, suddenly made him feel as if he were on stilts, and his hand had to shoot bask and grasp onto the table for support. The next gasp for air came with choked sob embedded in it, and he cursed silently, turning away so no one would have to see him. The familiar sting of tears drew his attention from his own breathing to a feeble attempt to try and stop hose waterworks. This was the last thing he needed. Squeezing his eyes shut stung, opening them sting, everything seemed to sting. He didn't seem to notice the growing weight in his chest for a proper breath of air, nor the faint calls for his name. He was now possessed by a single phrase, a demon's whisper consuming every part of his consciousness. 

_"You don't have have enough."_

"Yuuri, I need you to listen to me." 

_"Was that real? Or... my mind?"_

"Nod your head if you can hear me."

 _"Don't do it don't do it..."_ He nodded, blindly. 

"Ok good. Can you do something for me? I need you to take a deep breath with me ok? We've done this before." The voice called to him, coaxing him as if he were a child. Nodding a curt nod, he turned all focus back to his breathing, searching for that shelf in the middle of exhaling and inhaling, that middle ground that often helped him catch his breath. It was like the ocean in a way, receding and reaching out, grabbing at the line that spelt relief only to miss and fall deeper into his pit. However, the soft voice in the background encouraging him to keep reaching, it continued to fuel his every attempt, adding on and on until it finally reached the level necessary. Once he found it, he clung onto that shelf, allowing his breaths to center around that. Little by little the pain in his chest began to alleviate itself, along with it the ringing in his ears. A lingering softness made itself known in his locks, running through them in a repetitive motion. Where the touch landed, relief followed, and as the light-headedness that had been overwhelming his head began too fade, his face came into contact with something soft, welcoming. He sank into it. "You're safe with me, Yuuri, you know that? You're ok..." The voice cooed. The deeper he sank into the warmth, the more the stinging in his eyes faded away, leaving a hollowness that yearned to be filled. He slowly opened his eyes and was met with the slightly-blurred image of an angel.

Or Victor: they were the same thing.

"There you go. You're ok." He rose both his hands to cup the tear-streaked cheeks, gently wiping away any stray drops with his thumbs. Yuuri left out a shaky sign, leaning further into the warm hold. He nearly froze when he was pulled into a warm embrace, arms tightening around his back and breath tickling his ear.

It was then that Yuuri noticed two things:

Number one: Somewhere in the midst of his episode, they'd sunken to the ground, so Viktor was now sitting, leaning up against the cabinets with a trembling Yuuri in his arms.

Makkachin was sniffing him worriedly.

Number two: He was, indeed, safe. At least he felt safe, tangled there in his fiancé's grasp. As if a bubble surrounded them, impenetrable to all the negatives in the world.

And so he laid there, comfortable, his body trembling slightly as his breathing calmed. 

Peace was often calming to people. It meant an empty mind, a steady beat. A world all to themselves without a care to exist.

But here, it left Yuuri to his thoughts. And his thoughts, as he'd discovered the hard way, could be poison to the mind of the sane. So his mind wandered, wandered to the corners of his thoughts that had caused this in the first place. Walked smack into the heart of his unrest for the past weeks. His eyes, which had been resting shut in a placid manner, shot open, and he inhaled sharply. He pushed away.

Viktor cocked his head to the side, peering at him as stray tears slid from his bloodshot eyes. To say that he looked like absolute shit was an understatement: despite the extra sleep he'd received, dark bags still ran under his eyes, and his skin was too pale, sickly even. What concerned him the most was the darting of his eyes.

"Can you..." He rasped, taking a second to collect his thoughts and run his words through his head. "Can you wait here? I'll be right back." He stared up at Viktor, eyes glossy and wide.

"Of course, _moya lyubov._ " Satisfied with this answer, Yuuri peeled himself from his side and slowly made his way over to the bedroom. In the meanwhile, Viktor stood from his seated position and brushed himself off. Yuuri walked in a minute later, an envelope in hand.

"What's that?" Yuuri didn't answer: instead, he turned to face Victor directly and shoved it into his chest.

"For you!" He muttered quickly, staring at the ground. Viktor took the envelope, immediately shocked at the sheer weight of it: it wasn't heavy by object standards, but compared to other envelopes, it was crap ton heavier. He peeked inside it.

"What the..." Inside was a stack of cash and change rummaging about the bottom. At a brief glance, it seemed like a few hundred bucks, but he knew it was more. "What is this?"

"I know it's probably not enough! I'll make more today. And tomorrow."

"Yuuri..."

"I..I'm sorry it's so late, but I just..."

"Yuuri!"

"There should be about 36.000 rubles in there, maybe more."

"Yuuri!!" Said man looked up suddenly, trembling slightly.

"Yes?"

"What...is this?" Now it was Yuuri's turn to look confused?

“Money?"

"Well I got that much but what for?"

"Your coaching fee?" Suddenly everything made sense. The restless nights. The disappearing for hours at a times. The flubbed jumps. The episode.

Of all the things at the world, never would he have expected this.

"Yuuri..." The envelope was placed on the counter, forgotten. He reached out and grabbed his two hands, forcing Yuuri to look up at him. "Why on earth would you ever think you needed to pay me a coaching fee?"

"Well at the Onsen you said..."

"That was over a year ago!"

"B-but I thought..."

"Yuuri... we're getting married. Cheesy as it might sound, your love is more than enough."

"That is cheesy." Yuuri giggled slightly, then sighed. "So...I don't have to pay you? Are you sure?? I can make enough money, I promise! I just..."

"God no. I haven't thought about that old fee since I said those words! Literally the only reason I said them was to seem more 'coach like!' I never intended to charge you!! Besides, I was the one who showed up unexpectedly..." He trailed off, his mind having reached yet another conclusion. "Wait so the reason you kept disappearing after practice was.."

"Guess I'll have to call my boss and tell him I quit. I hated that place anyways." Viktor blinked at him, throat running dry (unlike the rink after Chris skates.) He wasn't planning on dragging Yuuri into a suffocating bear hug, honest!! But his instincts took over. So he grew his arms around his fiancé and dragged him in.

"So you've been training tirelessly as well as working a job daily?? By yourself?" He sputtered into his shoulder.

"I-I mean, yeah."

"And your...episode was because..."

"I thought I didn't have enough."

"You're amazing, Yuuri, you know that?"

"No?"

"Well you should because it's true." A soft pink spread across Yuuri's cheeks at the words. He sank into the embrace, returning it gingerly. They remained there for what seemed like not nearly enough time, though by the shifting of the light was near half an hour. The only interruption was the growling of Yuuri's stomach. 

"Well then!" Viktor exclaimed, holding Yuuri back by the shoulders. "Now that I think about it, you do owe me some."

"Wha...!" Yuuri sputtered, but was shushed.

"In order to pay me back, you need to do three things."

"Ok!!" Yuuri stood sharply, prepared to face whatever he had to.

"Your fee is..." The smirk that appeared on his face was slightly terrifying. "... for you to take care of yourself. 4 days or rest and rejuvenation."

...

"Uhh...what?"

"You heard me!" Viktor clapped his hands together. "I'm going to pamper you!!"

"But that's not how a fee works..."

"I'm not done." Yuuri's eye twitched. "You also owe me one thousand kisses, minimum."

_"Of course there's a catch."_

"Excuse me?!"

"Well you have to make it up to me!! I've missed your kisses over the past weeks. I've said what I said." His face lit up as if he were seeing the secrets of the universe. He clapped his hands again. "And now we eat!"

It was a pretty bland breakfast, in all honesty.

The rest of the day was spent cuddling and watching different movies, building a pillow fort, cooking Pork Cutlet Bowls (just this once) and overall filled to the brim with lovey fluffy couple things. It very pleasant, to say the least.

As the day came to close, and the two laid entangled with one another under the comfort of the bedsheets, Yuuri came to notice one thing.

He could breathe again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~
> 
> Yeah I know the end was rushed. I admit it. 
> 
> Yuuri's attack here was based off of a real life attack I had dealing with paying somebody back. I know it may seem a bit OOC for him, and I apologize for that. 😓


	5. The Rain Was Warmer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all SERIOUS TRIGGER WARNING
> 
> Please be careful while reading this. I beg of you. 
> 
> I can't figure out how to set warnings for a chapter, I'm so sorry. 
> 
> PLEASE PLEASE be careful reading this.

_"You left me."_

*drip drip*

_"You left me when I needed you most."_

*boom*

_"I was already broken. You knew that. And you still walked away."_

A strand of platinum hair feel into Victor's vision. He didn't bother pushing it out if the way: he knew it would be futile. What was the point anyways? The raindrops that fell down his cheeks flowed freely, no longer bothered him. His cheeks had become numb.

As had his heart.

He no longer shivered against the chilled wind that blew. He no longer jumped at the sudden cracks of thunder. He no longer wiped away the raindrops that trickled down his face. His body refused to respond to any outside movement. He was just there, in a state that some could argue as unliving. Devoid of all meaning. His eyes watched as the barely-used cigarette slipped from his blue hands, disappearing into the angry waves below. No, he hadn't watched it. It had been nothing but a a façade put in by his brain. Still, he could no longer feel the cigarette in his hand, so he assumed that was what had happened. At this point, what was real and what was a movie if the mind had blended into one.

His eyes were fixed out towards the endless circle plane of blue that stretched out underneath him. This bridge, which had once been a spot of comfort to him, was now nothing more then a bunch of hollow bricks plastered together. Meaningless. Shallow. Replaceable.

No eyes fell on the man, hunched on the railing staring out to the sea. Nobody dared wander out in such disgusting conditions. Rain feel from the sky in chunks of numbing water. Tress swayed from the relentless wind that refused to give up. Each raindrop felt like needle against bare skin, sending sharp stings up nerves that were too numb to care.

Even if any eyes had fallen on the former skater, they wouldn't have _seen_ him. Not truly.

They would have seen Victor Nikiforov, a god on the frozen plains of ice. An epitome of perfection. The man who was always smiling. The face of fame. A light in the darkness.

All those nicknames were lies. Stupid. Arrogant. He rejected each one as they came.

At least those were all in the past. Years old. How old he couldn't remember. Not that he cared to: his mind refused to look back at those darkened times. Those times when, every day, he wore a mask. A mask made of lies, forced upwards. A smile.

If that's what you could call it. It's certainly not what it was to Victor. To him, it was a lie.

Lie   
LIE

_Lie_   
**_LIE_ **

**** LIE

_ LIE _

**_ LIE _ **

_"You lied"_

_"For years you lied to me."_

_"Did I mean nothing to you??"_

_"Was it trust?"_

_"..."_

_"What did I do?"_

_"What did I do so you couldn't trust me?"_

_"What did I do wrong?"_

_"Please tell me."_

_"Please please please."_

_"You would rather have lied to me all this time."_

_"..."_

_"Dammit Yuuri...why hadn't you told me?"_

_"...why?"_

He cursed silently. Had it been that hard? Just three words. All he had had to do was say three words. Three simple words. It's not that hard.

_"Yuuri...you're flubbing your jumps...is everything ok?"_

_"Huh? Oh yeah, everything's fine. Just tired."_

_Just tired my ass._

He should've known. He blamed himself. Of course he wasn't ok. Somehow, deep deep inside, he had known this.

_But somehow...SOMEHOW he had let this go by. Somehow...he had..._

*CRACKABOOM*

He hates the fact. He hated it. Had it been that hard to notice it? Or had he been too occupied being mesmerized by his fluid moves. The way he had danced to the music, as if it were the blood that flowed through him. Stupid blood. Stupid music. Stupid ice.

The truth his mind refused to reach. To him it was unreal. El Dorado. Fake. Unobtainable. Truth was such an ugly word to him. Nobody ever wants to hear the truth.

But the truth couldn't stop punching him in the face. It was painful. No, not just painful. It was agonizing. Fire. An inferno. Lava. Hell. Absolute hell.

...that water looks awfully nice. Soothing. Gentle. Welcoming.

Like Yuuri. It looked like Yuuri.

Yuuri held his hand out. His soft...cool hand. Hand of silk. He wanted to touch it.

Out he reached his hand.

And Victor took it.

...

_"Maybe it's cliche. Maybe it wasn't. It always sounded cliche in the books. The movies. The shows. The videos. At first glance, watch, read, it was the cheesiest thing in the world. This...reuniting. The tears. The laughter. The smiles. The ebbing of pain. So unrealistic."_

_"But...it's all true. It's all real. This feeling of ecstasy. The warmth. This pleasure. The soothing of the burn. It's all real."_

Victor's mind was finally at ease. He could breath air again. He could see. He could Raf again. He could...he could feel.

He could feel a soft moist warmth on his cheek. He could feel...feel...

Disappointment. Pure disappointment.

_"The smile...where's the smile?"_ He saw no smile. Instead, there stood his lover; with a frown.

_"No...you have to go back. You're not ready."_

Those damn words. There stood the only man who had seen him. The only man who had seen Victor. Not Victor Nikiforov.

Victor.

_"But...but I can't...not when you're not there."_

_"Yes you can. And I'll always be there, as long as you remember me. You will remember me, won't you?"_

_"...forgetting would be impossible."_

_"Then go...and when you are finally ready....I'll be here waiting."_   
_._   
_._   
_._

_"...Ok"_

The sound of sirens echoed through the empty town. Muffled voices yelled and yelled, sounds and noises that he just couldn't make out. The heart monitor beeped slowly. The sound of thunder boomed somewhere far far away.

The truth his mind had refused to reach. To him it had been unreal. El Dorado. Fake. Unobtainable. Truth had been such an ugly word to him. Nobody ever wanted to hear the truth.

But the truth couldn't stop punching him in the face. And for the first time, it didn't hurt. For the first time, instead of letting himself take those punches, he punched back. For the first time, the rain was warmer than the cold.

For the first time, Victor was able to _see_ the truth.

And the truth was that Yuuri had died 3 years ago.

And he wasn't coming back.


	6. The Cold NEver Bothered Me Anyways...except for now CURSE YOU ST. PETERSBURG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smol context; I wrote this story literally MONTHS ago it does not at all reflect my ability as a writer as of now. 
> 
> Also be prepared for some tooth-rotting willy-wonka sweet fluff.

_I love this place....but damn—_

The wind outside howled, howled like there was no tomorrow. Along with it twirled tiny fractals of ice, falling in harmony with the beat of nature. They danced in the spotlight of the moon like ballerinas, each gifted with their own style of grace and beauty, swirling with each other like partners dancing the tango of the night. In the stage that was the darkness, more and more showered down upon the chilled ground of St. Petersburg, joining the never ending pile of their brethren, coating everything in sight with their white splendor. Occasionally a larger clump of said fractals would slice through this patterned fall, riling the dancers up like a school of fish scrambling as a shark cut through through their group. Then the entire pattern would be broken, the tango dancers suddenly ballerinas and the ballerinas suddenly tango dancers. This change in atmosphere only brought a plummet of unfathomable chill along with it, sending a city-wide shiver slicing though the buildings and skyscrapers. This wind slipped through the cracks of every door and window in sight, squeezing through every seal you could imagine, no matter how tight or well built it was. This evil wind coated the skin of every living being in its reach, raising hairs everywhere. Most people had built up a tolerance to this mini army, and were practically immune to its attacks. However, for the occasional foreigner who had the displeasure of witnessing this infamous cold in person, well, let's just all agree that the descriptions in books and shows did it no justice.

And if said foreigner was trying to sleep propped up on the arm of on a couch in nothing but a hoodie and sweatpants because he'd fallen asleep waiting for his fiancé to return from a late night meeting... well to say that he was going through hell was way an understatement. Yes the couch itself was soft...and sure this hoodie that smelled like said fiancé brought a comforting smell to him...but with the heater broken and this being the coldest night he had yet to experience in Russia, well, he was unprepared for this bone-chilling air. This icy atmosphere only caused his muscles to tense and shake more violently than what should have been normal for any human being. He pulled his knees closer to his chest in a feeble attempt to conserve any ounce of heat he had to spare, listening to the wind as it cried outside. His eyes screamed to close, as if they were being seduced by the bleak darkness of the room but he fought to keep open in a weak determination to get a chance to see his fiancé before he was whisked away into land of fantasies. He moved his eyes from the bleak gray of his hoodies to the neon numbers of the alarm clock on the shelf in the corner of the room.

1:24 am.

Or was that 12:24? His vision was so blurred he couldn't seem to make out the first numbers. They melted together into a mush, halos of green color filling his vision in an agonizing kaleidoscope of spiraling colors. Feeling slightly sickened at the sight, he removed his sight from the clock and turned his head to stare at the door instead. Though his thoughts had become a web of nonsensical letters in this numbing cold, one thought remained prevalent: _I can't wait for Viktor to get home._

The wind outside screamed once more, prompting the temperature to drop yet a few more degrees in the room. Teeth clenched, his sank further into the sea of fabric piled up against the corner of the back and seat cushion. The move was wasted energy, as he felt no difference what so ever but slight discomfort. The new fabric the small sliver of bare back came into contact with felt like ice to his skin, sending a plethora of chilled bolts throughout his blood. His eyes closed as he tried to adjust to this new cold, his breath speeding up painfully. Very suddenly, his head felt scarily heavily. It began to bob down, only to jerk back upwards as he became aware of his actions, only to lose that awareness once again and begin to lose consciousness as well. This cycle continued for quite some time, the only thing stringing the man to the line of consciousness being a small through he refused to let go.

 _"No...I want to wait for Viktor..."_ Forcing his eyes open, he turned his gaze to the door leading to the bedroom, tracing the doorframe. Just past that thin rectangular piece of wood sat a piece of heaven, beckoning him with its wooden frame and cloud-like mattress. It called to him with an alluring tone, promising warmth with gifts of blankets and pillows. Had he had any energy left within his muscles, he surely would have stumbled over to the room like a drunken zombie and embraced the awaiting warmth, would have curled up under the fur blanket he knew Viktor kept under the bed and allowed himself to be lured into the pleasure that was sleep, with Viktor's scent planting a smile on his face.

But his mind... it held that luxury just out of reach from him. It withheld from the indulgence that would be warmth....

Because if warmth as a luxury, then being awake for Viktor's embrace would be absolute heaven.

_Speaking of which...._

His ears, which had been focused on the wind outside, picked up footsteps increasing in volume just on the other side of the wall, approaching the doorway. The familiar sound he immediately recognized, along with the faint beeping of the card reader rejecting the room key. The sound of Viktor's cursing began to fade away. Though he didn't have the energy to do it, his eyes mentally widened. Oh no...he recognized this feeling.

 _"Not now...not when he's right there!"_ His eyes, which had been dropped half closed, suddenly began to weigh tons, so much so that keeping the open was impossible. No matter how much he fought to see the light from the hallway stream into the room from the doorway, obscured by Viktor's dark shadow, his mind simply wouldn't allow it, and his lids slipped closed. Along with this came another feeling...

 _Wait...have I always been this cold?_ A stream of hellish air rushed into the already frigid room, seeping through every crack in the fabric it could find, through every strand and fiber, breaking through the barrier of warmth that he'd managed to build up, though it had never been that thick to begin with. A shift in the darkness below his eyelids told him that light had streamed into the room, answering the question of where the new chill had come from. Though his eyes had closed and remained closed, his mind just couldn't seem to reach the line that meant unconsciousness, not yet. And it wasn't the concept of being awake for Viktor that was holding it back.

He could just barely hear Viktor's low muttering over the loud clattering of his teeth. This fact alone drove him insane to no end; if he wouldn't be able to see Viktor, he at least wanted to hear him. Though he couldn't hear his talking, he could certainly recognize certain noises, like the sound of a bag dropping to the ground or the light rustling of a coat being hung on the coat rack. Head beginning to throb, he removed his focus from trying to decipher each little sound and instead focused on the footsteps and where in the room they were being made. He listened to how heavy they were, how loud they sounded, how quickly they sounded and how much they squeaked. Why these sounds fascinated him so much at that moment he did not know. What he did know...was that Viktor was getting closer to him, as had become evident by his slowing pace and lighter steps.

 _"Now...open...."_ All the energy that had been concentrated on the deciphering of sounds now coursed through his eye lids, oiling the frozen gears that held them closed, pushing against them in sheer determination to get them to just open. Though his attention had been pulled by the difficulty that was awakening his physical form, he could just...feel the moment when Viktor spotted him, pinpointed the exact second the Russian's vision had fallen on the man. It was just a feeling, a paper-thin coating of extra warmth, a light presence on his skin, that told him this, but this enough was enough to fuel his determination even more.

"...Yuuri?" The sound entered his ears, stopping all efforts in their tracks. His voice was nothing short of melodious, a sweet ecstasy to the ears that had been so focused on mundane tasks, and it lit something inside. A spark, just a small explosion of warmth. Normally, this would be totally meaningless, without effect, dull and done in a second. It was the place where it happened that made it....oh so much more than that. This little fire had struck straight in the core of Yuuri's heart, which in this death-bringing chill, had rendered his limbs completely immobilized. Now having a source of warmth, a reason to try, a goal to reach, it beat harder and quicker than it had even dared to go in this frozen limbo.

And there was something else. Something new. A warmth against his cheek. This feeling was a familiar one, though at the time he was in no position to remember just what it was nor what it meant. It was a gentle touch, soft like silk against his shivering cheek, and it brought with it an explosion of relief. He suddenly felt drawn to this warmth, yearning to get closer to it, to feel it more. His head lulled to the side, hoping to catch more of this feeling. He instead found comfort.

Viktor had placed his hand on Yuuri's cheek, to which he'd responded to by rolling his head into the open palm. By this point that much Yuuri's brain had become aware of. The second presence of warmth, this one moving up and down said cheek, was identified as his thumb stroking the chilled surface. This motion added to the determination that had been pulsing before and allowed him just enough energy to open his eyes. Through his eyelashes he could just barely spot Viktor's sil...sorry, PLATINUM hair dusted with flakes of snow in the now shining light of the lamp behind the couch. Though his vision wasn't the most crisp, he was just able to make out his fiancé's expression.

Though they were bordered by ugly purple bags and dark circles, his eyes seemed to be sparkling as he looked into Yuuri's half open ones. His mouth, which had been pulled into a tired frown, was now tugged upwards into a soft smile. His cheeks and nose were dusted with a faint rose, one that he couldn't have deciphered as from the cold or as blushing even if he'd tried. Viktor'd stood, well, crouched there next to the couch for minutes? Or was it seconds. Time in that moment had no meaning. The only thing keeping Yuuri's eyes from slipping closed again were the captivating blue seas that were Viktor's. Their icy blue tone called to him, made him feel warm, at home, safe. Unknowingly, a smile had slipped onto the Japanese man's shivering face as well.

"...Vitya..." The name had meant to come out as the full version but this had slipped out instead in a nearly-incoherent mumble. This grabbed Viktor's attention, snapping him out of the enamored trance he'd fallen into. The man blinked once, taking in what exactly he was doing and who he was, before returning his hazy gaze to Yuuri's shivering body. His smile widened.

"Hello there, my sleeping beauty~" He spoke just barely above a whisper, his voice nearly purring in the process. "Just what are you doing here? I imagine the bed would be a lot more comfortable." His attempt at some comedy worked, bringing a more prominent smile upon the half-asleep man's face.

"Waiting..." That's all he managed to mumble before a second wave of needle-like chills pricked at his skin, causing a reaction comprised of shivering and scooting just a centimeter closer to where Viktor was. This didn't go unnoticed, and said man's smile fell from its place. His eyes travelled from the couch to the door that led to the bedroom, calculating the distance.

 _"No...my arms are too tired to carry him..."_ He pursed his lips, deep in thought. Just what could he do? One answer popped into his mind, and before he could even think about it, it had already been set into motion. Reluctantly, he drew his hand away from Yuuri's cheek, watching as a frown appeared on his face. The expression almost looked comical to him, and he let out a small chuckle, standing up in his place as quietly as possible.

"Vityaaaa~" The call almost went unnoticed, and were it not for the small break the wind outside had taken, it probably would have been lost to the sounds of the outside. "Where are you going..." The smile appeared back onto Viktor's face as he looked back down at the man.

"I'm just going to go grab something, don't worry my little katsudon." He tweaked his voice so it slid out smoothly in a reassuring tone. It seemed to work as he saw Yuuri's eyes slip closed once more. Slowly, as not to wake him up once more, he removed the blue framed glasses before they fell and placed them on the coffee table, before disappearing through the bedroom door.

 _"I....It's still cold...."_ Though the encounter had been one of warmth, it had yet to slow his violent shivering. Now with Viktor's presence gone, the little warmth his touch had brought with it disappeared in an instant, leaving the man to fight this chill on his own. He had been gripping the inside of his hoodie the entirety of this time, and now his hold on the fabric had finally been released to instead wrap his arms around his frame. _"S-stupid Viktor...what exactly could be taking so long in the bedroom..."_ His wandering mind offered him an answer, one that he wished to refuse as soon as the thought had come across his mind. Had he... gone to bed? The thought alone seemed to multiply the effects of the chill. Forcing his eyes open once more, he raised his vision in a feeble attempt to spot the frame that led to the bedroom, only to be slightly taken aback at the absolute blurriness of his field of sight. What had been a slightly obscured sight before was now a field of undistinguishable colors and lights, all of which made but the slightest sense to him. The only shape he could make out was the small valley of fabric from his sweatpants. Everything else was a clouded mess. Seeing no use in keeping his eyes open any longer, he let them slide closed and focused instead on his uneven breathing, hoping to slow his heart in a hope to ease the burning of his lungs. His head lulled to the side once more as a sudden languor washed upon him. The world which he had built up in his mind began to melt away, lulled by the sweet calling of escape from the coldness of the world.

But something held him back. Something held the key just out of his reach and trapped him in the world of consciousness. With a annoyed sigh, he returned to his thoughts. Sleep was so close yet so far....something was holding him away but he just couldn't grasp what exactly it was.

As soon as his mind had discovered just what this problem was, it was resolved with a soft whoosh. An immediate wave of sweet relief washed through every crevice, overtaking the coldness that had kept him from his slumber and bringing with it the gift of a familiar scent. The smell of cinnamon and vodka. A soft presence stroked his cheek, to which he responded by pressing his face against it.

"Is that better?" Yuuri took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent. Along with it was mixed another smell, one he recognized the well. Shifting in his position and feeling as a warmth shifted with him only confirmed his suspicion. Viktor had draped the fur blanket he knew Yuuri loved so much over his shaking body, tucking the loose edges and corners into the crevices of the couch.

"Mmmnnn..." He breathed contentedly, a smile appearing on his face. "Vitya~" He could hear the soft rustling of fabric and a small pop of joints as Viktor knelt down to look at his fiancé.

A smile mirroring Yuuri's slid onto the Russian's face as he watched his flushed face sink deeper into the sea of fur and fabric. The thought that he'd stayed awake waiting for him, at this hour nonetheless, it tugged at his heartstrings, caused a rush of warmth to rush through his blood. At that point, he just wanted to hold the man, engulf him in his arms and never let go. This yearning controlled his next actions: he stood up, leaned over, and pressed his lips to Yuuri's forehead. He held the contact for an unspecified length, just listening to his slow deep breathing. This sound had a soporific effect on him, and he could feel his eyelids growing heavy. Reluctantly pulling away, he ran his fingers through a strand of black hair, and murmured,

"Good night, my love." Flashing a final smile, he turned and began walking towards the bedroom.

"Mmmm....wait...." Something slipped into his open hand, stopping him in his tracks. A small gasp escaping his parted lips, he turned to see just what that thing was. It was Yuuri's hand, holding it back. Said man was looking up at him, having sat up where he had once laid. His eyes were sparkling, brimming with a question. He bit his lip, before asking, "Stay with me?"

"...silly Yuuri we both wouldn't fit on the couch." He chuckled, stroking his icy fingers. "Besides I..."

"Please?" The word was just over a whisper, soft and pleading. The sweet tone struck him directly. He looked down at the man, examining his expression. He bit the inside of his mouth. He had just been thinking about how much he'd yearned to hug him, and that feeling still lingered. And he did look....so lonely there on the couch...

"Of course." Smiling warmly, he turned around completely and walked over to the couch. "Scooch over..." Lifting up the blanket, Yuuri shifted over so he was laying down, his back against the back cushions and head resting on the throw pillow he had previously been sitting on. Viktor sat down and swung his legs under the cover, before scooching closer and draping his arm across his chest. Immediately, the raven haired man buried his face into Viktor's shirt, arms wrapping around him and inhaling his scent. This was a type of warmth that couldn't come from any covering or blanket, not even from the warmth of a fire. This was the warmth that could only come from the arms of a lover. Viktors arm was cradling the head, his hand stroking the black locks, petting the man. This soft repeating pattern felt was almost hypnotic to him, adding weight to his eyelids that just couldn't be ignored. They began to droop closed.

"It's a bit cramped, isn't it?" Yuuri's hold around Viktor's chest tightened at the words, as if begging him not to leave. The Russian noticed this, and chuckled softly, burying his nose into the hair and inhaling his scent. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

"Mmmmmm..." This answer appealed to him, and he allowed himself to sink further into the softness of the blanket. This engulfed him in a bath of softness and warmth, the chills of the night nearly completely gone now. He felt a soft presence on the top of his head, along with the faint sound of kisses being planted. "I missed you tonight~"

"As did I." His long legs intertwined with Yuuri's, the soft sweatpants rubbing up against his legs. Pursing his lips, he stroked the pants with his feet. Ahh so he saw how it was. "Yuuri?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you wearing my sweatpants?" Under his hold he could feel the man tense up. This gave him his absolute certainty in his answer. "My hoodie too? I knew it...."

"It's comfy." He murmured, snuggling deeper into the fabric. "And it smells like you..."

"...I could say the same about this as well." _What?_ Lids stinging at this point, he opened his eyes to look at what exactly Viktor was wearing. He had on a navy blue t-shirt and gray shorts. His navy blue t-shirt and gray shorts.

"Cheeky...but how does that even fit you?"

"Good question..." The room fell silent, the only sounds being their synchronized breathing and the howling of the wind. Though the silence would have been daunting in any other circumstances, here it just made them feel... at peace. Nobody dared to break it, and there was no need to. The warmth of their arms was enough. This silence continued for an unspecified amount of time, though it not once felt like a long amount. Even the night seemed to quiet down and watch the couple, lowering the wind as not to disturb the two. This, right here, was perfect.

"Good night, my love."

"Night Vitya~"

And just like that, both Viktor and Yuuri had fallen into the sweet ecstasy of sleep.


End file.
